Amy Wallace- Sorcerer's Apprentice- Review

This is a strange personal account of an enduring relationship between one of the world's most mysterious and famous shamans in the last two centuries, and a young and sensitive woman, the daughter of a popular author, Irving Wallace, and her attempt to honestly relate the insanity, trauma and psychological abuse that those who've had the misfortune of belonging to a genuine cult, will understand all too well.

The texts of Carlos Castaneda have influenced and continue to affect millions of reader's across the world. Regardless if these books are pure fabrication or the literal truth is somewhat irrelevant: the philosophy of the Way of the Warrior, opening awareness to things and events in the world, that we normally do not see, the notion that there is a path to "true" knowledge, and a prescribed method to "total freedom", is an alluring proposal.

Most of us living our mundane day-to-day lives, getting up every day to just make a living, the idea that there is "magic" in the world, and that it can be tapped and used for self betterment is compelling, and touched the 60's generation at exactly the right time. As most readers of Castaneda well know, his philosophy is anti-authority, breaking from the chains of our incessant social conditioning, (smashing the ego to bits) and becoming the beings we were meant to be - warriors of impeccability. Nonetheless, the proof is in our actions, our fruits, which begs the question, has anyone, including Castaneda, achieved the warrior's goal, and leaped into the abyss of infinity with her/his eyes wide open? After reading Amy Wallace's book, a nagging doubt remains.

It is without question that Castaneda was a highly charismatic and enormously persuasive individual. Those who actually met the man, celebrities, politicians and writers all agree on this point. Amy Wallace, though, fell in love with the man, in the romantic sense, became his constant companion, and contributed to the creation of his organization. She became a member of his inner circle of witches, kicked out and let back in again far too many times. She had to experience untold psychological abuse, and the appalling insanities of Castaneda's endless sexual exploits with a platoon of women that would make the most highly promiscuous wince in disbelief. The politics and backstabbing between his inner circle of witches reminded me of the petty games of adolescent girls, with their jealousies and drama, all vying for the father's attention. As the central method to impeccability of a sorcerer is the abolishment of the ego, ridding the personality of "self importance", these so-called witches failed on every count.

Amy Wallace managed to survive her experience in this cult, though had to undergo most of the psychological pain of separating from it, and the death of her lover: post-traumatic syndrome, grief, longing and thoughts of suicide, finally in the end, it seems, achieving her psychological separation, as she proposes, through the writing of this book. Amy is a good writer, as one can feel her pain as she examines the lies, betrayal, and endless abuse from Castaneda and his closest cohorts. Because the most dramatic and real love affairs in one's life remain with you, Wallace continues to respect and feel affection for the man despite their long and tumultuous past.

Personally, this story does not dissuade me from Castaneda's teachings. His books are highly influential and changed my views of the world in positive ways, too numerous to mention. A recommended read for those needing to know some of the workings of the inside of his strange and unorthodox world.