Negotiating Karma (P.1)

Standing next to my cardiovascular surgeon, I heard him announce the exact time of my death:

“I'm calling it. 3:43pm. Close him up!”

I followed my old friend back to prep, where he discarded his greens, washed his hands, and rushed out of the operating wing up to the third floor to his elaborate office. He sat down behind his desk and let out a noticeable sigh. 'How can I tell George's wife that I failed the transplant when I virtually promised a positive outcome. I'll use the receptionist.'

'Exactly,' I said out loud, but Dr. Saul Goldstein didn't seem to hear me. It was no more than 24 hours ago that my wife and I, Christine, sat in this office, and listened to Saul weigh-in on the pros and cons of the transplant.

“We have a perfect donor, so I see no foreseeable problems. George, you've known me for years, and I know a winner when I see one.”

Saul picked up the phone and called the reception, asking for my wife to come into his office.

“And I want you in here, Kerri when I break the news to George's wife.” he asked.

“Yes, doctor.”

My beautiful wife of 27 years entered my friend's office and knew exactly what Saul was about to say. She broke down, her head in her hands, and sobbed silently, shaking from grief and disbelief. Saul didn't say a word, now sitting in front of her, holding her hands to somehow alleviate the loss of her husband.

Christine finally looked up and said, “You said our chances were excellent. That's what you said, Saul. You promised.”

“I'm so terribly sorry, Christine. But the heart wouldn't hold. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss.” he said.

Suddenly Christine's emotional level turned from sorrow to anger. “That's not good enough. You promised! You never liked George, anyway.” she stood up and stormed out of the room.

'That'll be all, Kerri.' he said.

Saul didn't make any attempt to stop my wife from leaving his office. He just sat there like a knowing Buddha, walking casually back around his desk and sitting down.

I didn't bother to follow my wife but decided to remain in the office and offer my old friend a piece of my mind.

'You piece of work. I think you failed the surgery on purpose! You're a petty old shit who wanted me to die because of your god damn career. You knew if I survived the procedure and healed properly, I would have retained my position as head of the department. You just wanted my job.'

I wanted to continue ranting in Saul's ear, but I finally stopped myself because I knew he couldn't hear me. Hell, I was dead, And really, why should I give a shit now? But for some unknown reason, I didn't want to let it go. Something has been left unfinished. What was keeping me here, anyway? Where was that “tunnel of loving light” that many of my patients talked about after a near-death experience under my scalpel on the operating table. Why was I still here, a damn ghost?

Acting like nothing had changed, I entered my office across the hall. On my filling cabinet sat my cat, Jasper, curled-up, and sleeping. He finally opened his eyes and stared right at me. He yawned and had a big stretch, and said, “So I see Saul got away with it.”

Jasper and I go way back to the time I picked him out of a litter of alley kittens discovered in the hospital's basement. All three of the newly born's were scrawny and looked near death because the mother didn't survive the birthing process. I knew I liked him when he walked out of the blanket away from the litter in a kind of search and discovery mission. Jasper was different, so the hospital gave away his sisters, and I brought Jasper home. He now is an old man of 14, and has really never left my side since our first meeting. Jasper is now talking to me in human English, and I know I'm absolutely deceased, dead, gone, kaput.

'Can you see me, Jasper?' I asked.

'Gezz, doc, can you hear me?' he asked.

'Yes.'

'Then yep, I can see you, and I know you're dead. And there are a few things we need to discuss. ' he said.

I thought: 'So this is what death is, you can talk to the animals like Doctor Doolittle?'

'What do we need to discuss, Jasper?' I heard myself thinking.

'The reality is that your lovely wife and Dr. Goldstein have been having an affair right under your nose for the past two years.'

'That's not possible.' I thought.

'George, really, for such a smart and kind human, you sure can be an idiot.' he said.

'I just left Saul's office when he broke the news to Christine. She appeared pretty upset to me.'

Jasper jumped off the filling cabinet onto my desk, and elegantly placed himself by the window under the light of the sun. Positioning himself comfortably, he said, “All an act. You didn't see Saul's receptionist in the office, acting as a witness to the big charade?'

'Well, as a matter of fact...'

'They've got big plans, and the grand plan is in motion, now that you're out of the way.'