“Can
you talk?”
Her
sensual laugh, soft and alluring, enters his ear through a mobile
phone, excited, daringly sinful, and disturbed that this once
potential lover has the courage to remain on the phone.
“Where
are you?” he asks.
She
laughs again, “I'm in the backyard watering the plants away from
the crowd inside the house.” Her tone changes. “And if you ever
call me again, I'll kill you.”
Thoughts
of their encounter, the night before refuse to remove themselves from
her memory, the images, all the pain fills her fragile soul. She
cannot steel her heart from this gorgeous, drunken, and sadistic man.
Considering
the time and place, the two new lovers' on their first date, managed
to meet in secret, a rendezvous at a well-known train station in
Melbourne. As the train ground to a stop, she did not see him at
first, though turned her head around as he began to run in her
direction at the end of the platform, calling her name above the
chaos of a typical Friday night.
She
turned her head and seeing him revealed her soul to him, softness in
character, a beautiful smile, and a tinge of fear.
She
looked absolutely magnificent. Feeling like a young man, he kissed
her as the grinding train left the station, the young people looking
their way. The kiss, as all lovers know, tells all, and only time
will resolve the immensity of their current feelings.
“You
actually are here!”
“Did
you ever doubt me” she whispers.
Feeling
slightly drunk, due to the few wines he sipped before her arrival, he
lands in the Moment, total present time, and wonders why he has been
so blessed.
She
laughs again and kisses him on the lips, and asks, “Where are we
going?”
Like
many men, out of ego or lack of confidence, he acts in bravado, a
man; a little boy, really, announces that a luxurious room is
awaiting and a dinner that will be remembered for a life time.
What
this 'has-been' adolescent has missed, is that the woman he now
holds is a lady of experience and taste. She understands the young,
the naive, the inexperienced in love. But somehow this particular
middle-aged man, his strange ideas about life, his past, and his
strange demeanor, is a mystery, something to be explored. She
decides to go along with his romantic overtures, his sentimental and
poetic view of life; a man from a distant past, or some deranged
character from a bad novel. She finds him curious and this experience
will prove or disprove her expectations about him. Thus she
cautiously follows along.
Only
two minutes from the station, they enter the pub/hotel, full of the
regular Friday night crowd, expressing their frustrations about a
meaningless existence. The pub is loud, happy and has the atmosphere
of the unexpected.
They
enter the room and she is delightfully surprised. High ceilings, 19th
century décor, and a comfortable bed; following his lead, he shows
her to the spa, something she, as a woman of class, would never do
with him at this early stage. What impresses the woman is that he made the effort to create “ambiance”, candles and low lamp lights bathe the room in a soft glow.
He
offers her a glass of wine from the mini-bar that tastes like sour
apples, the poor grapes having spent their short lives in the hot
sun. She chooses to ignore this tiny mishap.
Her
expression tells all, and they kiss, continue to kiss passionately,
until she pushes the 'boy' away, stating that dinner would be a good
idea.
Through
dinner their conversation turns from the ideal to the absurd. She
asks him about Mozart, current affairs, or politics; he looks
confused and changes the subject to his “mates” at work, abusing
the new apprentice on the job. He laughs embarrassingly loud, telling
the cruel antics' played upon the young apprentice.
She
realizes that this was not the man she thought she knew...
In
a few short moments, he becomes belligerent, his new love, a
forgotten side-line to his pseudo-masculine bravado, shouting,
abusing the waiters, demanding service, complaining about the wine,
as if his new lover, sitting across from him, would be impressed with
his brutal displays.
'He's
changed', she thought. He has transformed into a stereotypical vulgar
male, the type of person she has had to put up with all her life; a
bully, thug, and a man who has never really grown, matured, stopped
mentally, somewhere in early adolescence. She feels a stab of fear as
he stands up and demands that they go back to the room.
He
stumbles to the register to pay the bill. Their waiter and the
manager of the hotel spot the drunken lout and make a note.
He
literally drags the lady to their room, fumbling with the lock as his
eyesight has permanently blurred for the night.
He
grabs, pushing, slapping, and demands she do his Will or, “You can
get fucked whore!”
Under
the circumstances, as had happened too many times before in her life,
it was best forgotten, she relents, and the deed is over in a matter
of moments. He turns away, instantly snoring, asleep for the remainder of the night.
As the first light from the dawn enters the windows of their hotel room, she
carefully leaves the bed, finally, after a few moments, finds her
shoes. She did not want to wake him, perhaps beginning the whole ugly
scenario again.
It
had happened too many times before...
Grabbing
her bag, she opens the door like a thief in the night, leaving the
drunken rapist to his convoluted dreams.
'Would
my life ever change?' she thinks. Is it possible to free my self from
these self-obsessed men, whose existence is shallow, a mere spit in
the wind?'
'And
why am I so different?'
Haggard,
tired and feeling sorry for herself, she waits for the train back to
the suburbs, back to her normal life.
Only
a few stations from her stop, she dials a familiar number and her
reliable daughter picks her up from the station.
“How
was your night, mother?”
“A
great night with the girls...we had a good time.”
The
woman winces at the memory of the experience, her daughter oblivious
to the truth.
As
she enters the front door, that incredible emptiness about her long
marriage stings like sunburn. Her husband greets her with his usual
probing questions like she is a suspected terrorist from a third-world country. He is another bully from a long line of bullies.
She
has all her bases covered and he seems to be satisfied with all her
responses.
Life
continues, as usual, ignoring the real issues and carrying on as
though nothing has changed, and seemingly never will.
Later
a good friend rings, and she finally breaks down, sobbing into the
phone.