Why are People so Mean?

The majority of people in their lives have been on the receiving end of a mean person. This is not a uniformed opinion. Pick some random person on the street, in a restaurant, walking their little dog along a path around the park. Most all will answer in the emphatic positive. And when you hang around and give them the expression of a listener, will give you a single example that changed their lives, in many cases, for the worse.

Most of us have had to confront a bully. These are the people who expose a weakness in our characters, our most vulnerable attributes; our obvious trait as a race, our beliefs in religion, our political views of the world. In fact, it doesn't really matter, when a bully strikes, the reason could well be about anything. But the nastiness is real, and whether we admit it or not, their criticism and violence really hurts. It effects us in profound ways.

My first bully experience happened in Melbourne, Australia. At the age of five, attending a Catholic school, and wearing a blue and white uniform, that stood out like a red pimple on a white, big nose. Walking home, my backpack heavier than my actual body weight, three boys surround me, chanting: “You dirty little mick. You dirty little mick.” One of the boy's tackled me to the ground, pinning me down, and began slapping my face, over and over...my eyes filled with tears from the pain. I remember thinking: 'What is a mick?' Soon later, the 6^th grader's from my school came to the rescue. The biggest, Shawn, walked me home. “Don't worry little mate, we'll protect you.” I later learned that a “mick” is a catholic. Soon later, however, my father came back from the US, and we moved back to the US, my home.

There are many examples from my childhood, but soon I was introduced to the *adolescent bully*. As a teacher, my experience of mean people in children, moved to a whole new level. The old cliche', that children can be the most cruel, is true. Some children can be unrelenting, leading for some victims, to suicide. So sad. But so real.

For many years, I refused to create an account on Twitter.. A good friend of mine in France, a lovely person, warned me not to, that the platform was too full of hate. Because the new president of the US used Twitter, I thought it was a good way to see into his mind and heart. Over the 2 years, for certain, I knew Trump, from his tweets alone, to be a liar, and of low intelligence. That said, though, he too is a bully. People can be very cruel on twitter. People will form packs, and bully you as a crowd. In some cases, this led to Twitter, banishing these bully's accounts. That said, the snide, sarcasm, and hateful intent from these bullies continues. And now, not surprising, the President of the United States, is one of the core bully's on Twitter.

Many good people believe that they must have done something to bring on this emotional violence. Somehow, it is their fault. It is certainly not. Why?

We need to understand that people who attack you, who pummel you, are *suffering*. These souls are in pain. They are paying for some injustice. They have experienced pain, and have caused and created pain in others. These people are in suffering. They see you, and want you to have their pain, to make themselves feel better. It never works. Remember, they are paying for a terrible deed, a bad choice, but they cannot forgive themselves. Thus, they pay-out their pain on you.

When you understand this dynamic, there is no need to respond with hate. The person attacking you is hurting, so ignore them.

In a domestic family-violent situation, this dynamic becomes a *crises*. The act of leaving is dangerous, and the decision to remain can be much more a nightmare. This writing is not about domestic violence. A situation much more complex, than mean people. A topic for another time.

Once you realize that your oppressor is suffering, that his actions are a result of a severe deficit in their soul, you do not need to retaliate, because, the bully is already suffering. To be sure, a justice of the heart. Now you do not need to attack in the same emotional hatred of your attacker, because you know they are sick, are paying for an injustice, and so, you can now move on.

People of hate are always suffering.

Perhaps like the prophets of old told us, forgiveness of these suffering souls is a possibility.

Forgiveness.

Time will tell.