Domestic Violence and Covid 19

In some way or another, most of us have experienced a form of domestic violence. For me, this was a work colleague, where she came into work with a significant welt on the side of her face. It wasn't until the late afternoon, once most had left for the day that she opened up to me about her home situation.

“ It doesn't matter what time of day or night, something will tic him off, which most of the time I'm unaware of, then wham! Like this morning, when I was standing in front of the mirror, adjusting my dress before work. And he came up behind me, kissing my neck, but when I turned around, he sucker-punched me, causing me to fall to the ground. Looking down at me, he said, “That's a reminder that I'm going out of town for a few days, and not to forget who your husband is.” The ass-hole just left the room and walked out of the front door. “

Experts in domestic and sexual violence tell us that the abuse is all about power and control over their victims. The sure signs reveal themselves early, where the abuser will covertly or overtly isolate the victim from their family and close friends. By disconnecting the abused from the outside world, absolute control can be achieved. Behaviors such as texting or calling the victim at all times of the day, keeping a check on their whereabouts, the other extreme of controlling the money, and keeping the victim prisoner in their own homes.

There are certainly worse scenarios, where murder is the final step in this unending circular hell.

In February of this year, the Australian government performed a survey of a sample of 15,000, and the results sent shock waves around the country. Since the outbreak of COVID 19, domestic violence cases in the home has risen as high as 60%. The reasons for this rise in violence vary, but in Australia, domestic violence has always been a major societal problem. Again made significantly worse since the virus began and the resultant lock-downs.

Another statistic is that in over 50% of domestic violence cases, alcohol has been the underlying factor, even the abuse catalyst. But imagine being in a lock-down situation, where the spouse is drinking, and you are just waiting for the inevitable outcome. Personally, I cannot think of anything worse than watching the fuse burn down, waiting for the bomb to explode.

One aspect of domestic violence that most people outside the situation do not understand is why the victim keeps returning to the abuser despite the continuing violence. Again nothing in this pathology is black and white but involves a variety of psychological and physical reasons why this occurs. The amount of control the abuser has held over the victim for so long keeps them in a psychological prison, where other options don't exist. Threats of more violence and threats to other family members can be a factor. Economically dependent, the abused basically has nowhere else to go. In the end, it could come down to simply, plain fear.

 COVID 19 has not created domestic violence, but has feed the monster as a result of lockdowns and economic hardship.

You put all these factors together, economics, illness, isolation, alcohol/drug abuse, and of course, your garden variety psychopathy, and we have a growing societal problem that has reached pandemic proportions.

The question is, how do we change it?